Application Essay Writing

Want to know how to get into a dream law school? The process involves so much more than great grades and a high LSAT score. How does a great candidate differentiate him- or herself from other excellent candidates? This post is the second in a series of blog entries from my treasure trove of applicant stories.

Dylan was accepted into law schools at the University of Virginia, Notre Dame, Georgetown University, and the University of Cincinnati. He ultimately chose to attend the Ohio State University after being one of four students in a class of more than 200 awarded the full-tuition Moritz Merit Scholarship.

Like many candidates seeking to enter competitive professional programs, Dylan had top grades, high test scores, and impressive professional experience at a top five business consulting firm. In college, he was the battalion commander of his school’s Army ROTC chapter and was the second-ranked cadet nationwide in his senior year of college. He was also active in student government, ethics bowl, and Model United Nations. As an honors fellow, he spearheaded a fundraising campaign that provided women in Malawi microcredit funds for their small business pursuits.

Even more compelling was Dylan’s personal life story. After sustaining an injury just after graduation, he was forced to retire from the military and forfeit a very prestigious position as an intelligence officer in the Army. How did he pull all of these components together to get accepted into top law schools?

With my assistance, Dylan was able to pack his many experiences into a concise, elegant, and compelling personal statement. The essay told the story of his leadership journey as an Army ROTC cadet, the hardship he suffered after sustaining his career-ending injury, and his subsequent success in launching a satisfying and lucrative professional life. It also included reflections about his complicated relationship to the military through a narrative juxtaposing his brother’s antiwar views with his commitment to the Army. Because it combined storytelling with personal reflection, Dylan’s essay was extremely effective. In fact, it was so effective that an invitation to apply for the Moritz Merit Scholarship ensued!

The Moritz Scholarship essay prompt asked candidates to envision themselves taking a leadership role after law school. In response, Dylan, a committed environmentalist, outlined his goal to play an active role in making Ohio a leader in green energy production by ultimately becoming a state legislator working on energy policy. The essay includes an anecdote tracking his observations of solar start up companies, biofuel facilities, and wind turbines along his route from his home in Washington, DC back to Ohio. It additionally provides a highly detailed status report on clean energy policies in Ohio at the time he was writing.

What made this essay so successful? First, Dylan impressed his readers by showcasing his exhaustive knowledge of energy policy in Ohio; in other words, he established his authority over the subject matter. Second, in doing so, he showed his commitment to clean energy production. Third, he provided a concrete vision of a future full of “wind turbines dotting the landscape from Lake Erie down through the flat farmland of Darke and Auglaize counties.” Finally, all of the elements of Dylan’s essay fit perfectly together. Consequently, he was able to make the winning argument that a full-tuition scholarship would support his ultimate goal of facilitating great economic and environmental progress in the state of Ohio.

Dylan is now thriving.  He is in his final year at OSU and has just been offered a job as an energy attorney with a prestigious law firm in Columbus, Ohio.

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Write Submission-Ready Essays with Dr. M!

Register Here

Download brochure for more detailed information.

Are you ready to write your admissions essays? Writing personal statements is a tough challenge for every high school student. Don’t be too nervous, however! The time and effort you put into your writing will be worth it, and Blue Stars will guide you every step of the way.

Dr. M is pleased to present the Blue Stars Admissions Essay Bootcamp, a six-week workshop for crafting unique, attention-getting, and winning UC personal statements. The Blue Stars UC Admissions Essay Bootcamp includes:

  • Live, online, interactive lectures on the UC personal statements
  • Detailed, exhaustive free-write exercises
  • Guidance with selecting topics, organizing content, and writing anecdotes for  your essays
  • Six one-on-one editing sessions with Dr. M
  • Offline editing to perfection and down to word count

An award-winning writer and former university professor, Dr. M has helped hundreds of students gain admission to top-tier schools through her expertise as a writer and editor. Students who work with her produce superior, intriguing, and insightful essays that get results.

How it works: upon registering, students will complete a Free-Write Questionnaire, due September 8, which Dr. M will review and critique before the first bootcamp meeting. Through free-writing, students uncover the “raw” material – memories, feelings, questions, ethical dilemmas, insights – that help infuse your essay with power! Once the workshop is underway, students attend scheduled lectures and meet with Dr. M via Skype on Sundays for editing sessions. Students will receive additional feedback from Assistant Editor Seth Fischer, who will also edit essays offline.

During bootcamp lectures, students will learn all about art of the admissions essay: why it is unlike any essay students have ever written, what the essay is supposed to accomplish, how the components work together to produce success. She will also share shining examples of winning UC essays. Further, she will teach students about anecdotal writing – the nuts-and-bolts of storytelling, examples of successful anecdotes, and editing for conciseness and effect.

In between lectures, students will complete homework, discuss and revise drafts with Dr. M in personalized sessions, and receive extra assistance through offline editing.

When students complete the bootcamp on October 22, their essays will be ready for submission. Don’t leave the admissions essay to chance! Enrollment is limited to 12, so act fast. The registration deadline is September 1. Click here to sign up!

Write the essays of your life with Dr. M, and your brilliant future awaits!

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How your admissions application essay can avoid the yawn

September 1, 2010

An admissions officer can spot a good personal statement in 5 seconds. How does yours avoid the yawn? A well-written admissions essay gets inside the head of its reader. It invites and engages. It is the final touch of your application, the punctuation on your profile. And it is considered a crucial (if not defining) [...]

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New business school website offers in-depth information on MBA programs

August 14, 2010

B school insider and gadfly John A. Byrne has just launched Poets and Quants, a new website concerning all things MBA. Poets and Quants is essentially an ongoing, online chronicle of Byrne’s informational/editorial/philosophical blog posts, which address virtually every aspect of the business school world–rankings, school and program analysis, admissions advice, and the job market. [...]

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29 more schools added to the Common Application

August 12, 2010

Here’s the list from the Common Application’s website. Schools still holding out are MIT, Georgetown, and USC. C’mon guys. Centralize. Alaska Pacific University (AK) Albany College of Pharmacy & Health Sciences (NY) The American University of Rome (Italy) College of Notre Dame of Maryland (MD) Columbia University (NY) Concordia University (OR) DePaul University (IL) Florida [...]

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Free SAT Thesis Statement Guidelines

August 10, 2010

Summer is about to end and the SAT exam dates for October and November loom large for some of you. Hard times ahead! In an effort to give students some guidance on writing the SAT essay, Blue Stars has provided a free downloadable guide to writing a thesis statement. For a quick view of the [...]

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Application Essay Fitness, Pt. 2: Download Free Brainstorming Guide!

August 4, 2010

Download the Blue Stars Brainstorming Guide No matter what kind of admissions essay you are writing–whether for an undergraduate, graduate, or national fellowship application–brainstorming is the essential first step in the application essay process. Through brainstorming, you gather all of your “raw material” for your essay or essays. The more raw material you have to [...]

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YouTube and the Admissions Video-App

August 1, 2010

Last year, Tufts included the following prompt as one choice for an applicant’s optional supplemental submission: 6b: Share a one-minute video that says something about you. Upload it to YouTube or another easily accessible Web site, and give us the URL. What you do or say is totally up to you. As a result, about [...]

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Free Webinars on Law and Business School Rankings

July 15, 2010

U.S. News and World Report in conjunction with Kaplan Test Prep offer free webinars on law and business school.

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Application Essay Fitness, Pt. 1

June 30, 2010

Tips on writing application essays with a focus on the UC application

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